Jeremiah’s Blog

I went to the driving range yesterday to hit a few golf balls. Of course the purpose of hitting the ball is to hit straight, and a little distance doesn’t hurt either. Since I don’t play golf very often the ball did not go straight very often, and when it did it did not go long all that often. It made me think of my walk with Christ. When I don’t spend enough time talking to God, and getting to know him through His Word I am not able to walk the straight path of His will for me life, and when I do, I can’t do it for very long. Every now and then when I am at the driving range I will hit the perfect ball, that one that makes you realize what a little practice would do for you. The one that makes you think…What would happen if I spent more time doing this? When I begin to think about my spiritual life and my walk with God I once again can’t help but notice a comparison. When I am not spending enough time with God every now and then it seems I will get a glimpse of what it would look like to walk and talk with Jesus every day, but because I am doing so much in my own strength I am never able to sustain walking that path for very long. Yet when I am spending time with God, getting to know Him more and more through prayer and His Word, I am able to walk that straight path more consistently, and for much longer periods of time. Not by my strength, but by the filling of Holy Spirit in my life. As I am on this journey of trying to walk and talk with Jesus every day there have been some times when I have been more like the guy who goes out to the golfing range and tries to hit the ball long and straight with no practice, and then gets frustrated about it. Then there have been times when walking by faith each and every day have been natural, and almost easy. Those are the times where I am consistently spending time with God. Walking and talking with God isn’t always easy, but if we spend a little time with Him, and let him coach us each every day we will find ourselves less frustrated, and hitting the ball longer and straighter more consistently every day.

Can I be honest here? I am a little scared. I have come to a new place with God where ECC is completely His. I guess it should have always been that way, but it can be hard to get self out of the way. I feel like God may be telling me something I don’t want to hear, something that breaks my heart… For now though I am not ready to get to deep into what that something is, it is just for God and I for now. As you know from past blogs I have begun a new journey of trying to walk and talk with Jesus day by day, this has been harder than I thought it would be! I feel very challenged in my walk with Christ. I feel very challenged about ECC, I just feel challenged PERIOD!!! There is a stirring within me, but I am not sure what for, or what direction it is going, but I am unsettled. Now that I have let go of ECC I feel I have so little control, which is funny, because I don’t think I ever had it in the first place, LOL! I am drawn to the words that Rick whispered in my ear, “Don’t Give Up”, and I wonder where that course will lead me. I ask for your prayers if you’re reading this as I am seeking direction… seeking answers…when I am not even sure of the questions. God is stirring the depths of my soul. I am not sure where He is taking me, what He is doing, or what’s next. I do know for now though as I try and walk and talk with Jesus He is called me to lead ECC in its mission to; “Connect people to God and Each other”, and although I am unsettled, I can find peace in that.

I find myself thinking…wondering…doubting. Today was the Catalina Baptist associational executive board meeting. (For those who don’t know ECC is associated with the SBC in missions) Anyway, the entire process though comical, was disgusting to me. I could not help but think what would Jesus think of this mess we call church. You see, you have to understand that I have a long history in the church. My father is a preacher in fact. I experienced church fight after church fight, church split after church split, moving, my father heartbroken and bitter, him finally being able to heal, and then moving again. Now today my father kinda looks down at me for the same reason that he would get into trouble when he was young, doing things differently! I wonder if I will be the same way when I am older? Anyway the clash between old and new is growing more and more. It was so crystal clear this morning, old clashing with new, and I was wondering where is Jesus in all of this madness? When are we going to figure out that Jesus was not a part of the SBC, or a Republican? I’ll be the first to admit I am not the perfect follow of Christ so I am speaking from a low position here. Somewhere along the way though I feel we have lost our way. At some point the church became an institution, a thought process I find myself having trouble breaking free from. I guess the questions I have been wrestling with are; what does Jesus think of Denominations? What does Jesus think of “the churches” in America? What does Jesus think about ECC? What does Jesus think about me? I hope He sees a man trying his best to follow Him. I hope the world sees a Christ-follower, a fallen man, a man who is perfect by no means, but a man who has been saved by grace, and is doing his best to walk and talk with Jesus.