Jeremiah’s Blog

I came across this and it really spoke to me.

“Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything” (Acts 9:8-9). It’s hard to find anyone in Christian history who became a great leader without earning an advanced degree in adversity.

“Then God said, let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over  the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, over all the creatures that move along the ground. So he created man in his own image. In the image of God he created them male and female both in the image of God.” Genesis 1:26-27

In the heart of being real I have to tell you that the beginning of this week was pretty rough for me. I felt all the emotion of the valley; anger, sadness, depression, loneliness, failure, etc., and they were all intensified into two days. I had tremendous hopes for reaching the city through our current series, especially after all the publicity, and the fact that we had so few visitors drove me into despair. I felt I had failed God, I had failed the people of ECC, and I felt like there was no hope. It was a bad two days!

Maybe you have had a time like this, maybe you’re going through something like this right now.I want to encourage you as I have been encouraged. I was talking to my mentor and he said something I think I knew, but did not believe, and when he said it, it was with conviction and passion. He said “You can look at this and say it failed, but you are not a failure!” WOW! I needed that, I am not a failure, and maybe in some respects it did fail, but I am not a failure. I then had a choice; embrace that truth.or live in a lie. I went for the truth.

Right after I had this encouragement I went to work on this week’s teaching and God gave me Genesis 1:26-27. I bear the image of God! I am an image bearer of the creator of the universe. I am made with a purpose, I am uniquely and wonderfully made, a special creation of God. God did not create me and say, “Man I messed up with that one” Instead he cares about me so much that He says that he knows the number of hairs on my head, and that each one literally has a number. Today if you are feeling like you can’t go on, feeling like the world is pressing in, or maybe you just feel like a failure, remember that you are a image bearer of God, and He cares for you.

Maybe we did not reach the masses, but one women that was there this past week wants to sit down and talk about becoming a Christ-follower, and there is no failure in that! She is a unique creation of God that matters so much that he would have us do all this, just for her, and I believe that with all of my heart.

http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/blog/view/264

http://regulus2.azstarnet.com/blogs/desertbeliefs/11031/puresextucsoncom

http://www.fox11az.com/news/topstories/stories/KMSB_20080827_dm_jh_sex.1c58edd7.html

I want to make a few things clear. First we are not doing this for media attention! Second we are not doing this because I want a lavish lifestyle. I lived a much more comfortable life with my former job, and I LOVED it. So why are we doing this. Simple we believe in Loving God and Loving People just like Jesus told us too. That is why we have done so many service projects in the city, that is why we adopted a refugee family from Iraq, and that is why we are dealing with sex, relationships, and marriage. At least 90% of all counseling I have done churched or unchurched have related to these three. People are hurting, maybe not all people, but a lot of people are hurting. We are doing nothing more than trying to love God and love people. ECC’s stated mission is to “Connect People to God and Each Other”. Why? Because Jesus told us to “love God and love people”! We believe people are made with a purpose and that by connecting people to God they will find that purpose. We also believe that people are made to live in community, not fend for themselves, that is why we try to connect people so that we have people to walk life with in joy and pain. To me it’s simple why we are doing what we are doing? “Love God…Love People”!

Well each year I usually write a blog on my birthday, well for the last few years anyway. I have been meaning to blog as of late, but have been much too busy. There is something that has been stirring in me since I went to the Grand Canyon with Ben and Drew, so here it goes.

As we descended in the canyon it was basically done with much ease, along the way there were rangers warning us to the fact that we would have to climb back out. Even with these warnings we decided to go. I decided to go even farther to the point. 6 miles down. It was awesome, breathe taking. It was as I neared the bottom of the valley that I really saw the awesomeness of God. Oh sure it was beautiful on the mountain, but from the valley it was different. There was a closeness to God, a new respect for his awesomeness. As I climbed out of the canyon at first it was not bad, and then it got harder, but then I came upon a cool steam, and trees, an oasis in the desert. It was a place where I could be refreshed, to regain my strength. The hike was far from over though. I was still deep in the canyon. As I hiked out and got to the three mile marker I was more than tired, the boiling hot water in the facet was of little refreshment, and as I sat there I dreaded the rest of the hike. Finally I got up for my last three miles. There were many breaks from that point on, many points where I wanted to quit and give up, but knew I could not. I had to get to the top; it was the only logical direction to go. When I finally reached the top it was amazing. I had made it. I had descended into the valley, and climbed back out! I had hiked 12 miles in one day.           

Ok I know what’s the point, where am I going with this, well here it is. Many of you know that the first two years here in Tucson were not easy for us. The Element has struggled to get off the ground, and we have struggled to keep the faith. It really all happened much like the descent in the canyon. We came here on top on the mountain, stepping out in faith. Then we began our journey towards the valley floor. There were warnings all along the way saying it would be hard to climb back out, God was calling out to us, but we kept going down. We then hit this point, this point where God had finally got our attention. Oh there were many points where we tried to think are way back to the top, live in denial, even quit for an hour so, but then finally God sent the storm that got our attention, and it was there in the depths that we saw God best, it was there we saw Him as Lord of All, as our Beautiful Savior. As we were climbing out we called on God again and again, because we once again had realized that we needed His strength to get us through. So here we are, a month removed from the valley, and the amazing thing is…nothing has changed, nothing except instead of looking at the circumstances around us we have begun to look at Jesus. Instead of walking by sight we are walking by faith. It is like what Habakkuk experienced when he called on God, His circumstances don’t change, but instead of putting all of his stock in what he could see, he began to follow God by faith.           

When I hiked the canyon I had to go down into the valley to really see the beauty of it to appreciate what it was, to see God. As we have planted this church we had to go into the valley so that we knew that we could do nothing without God. That nothing about the Element was going to be of our own doing but of God. To really see God in all His Majesty and splendor we had to come to place of complete surrender. So here we are walking in faith with God, and I can think of no better place to be. I don’t know what’s next, I don’t know what God has for us, but I am excited to be walking  by faith, and I hope and pray that you’ll join me.

Can I be honest here? I am a little scared. I have come to a new place with God where ECC is completely His. I guess it should have always been that way, but it can be hard to get self out of the way. I feel like God may be telling me something I don’t want to hear, something that breaks my heart… For now though I am not ready to get to deep into what that something is, it is just for God and I for now. As you know from past blogs I have begun a new journey of trying to walk and talk with Jesus day by day, this has been harder than I thought it would be! I feel very challenged in my walk with Christ. I feel very challenged about ECC, I just feel challenged PERIOD!!! There is a stirring within me, but I am not sure what for, or what direction it is going, but I am unsettled. Now that I have let go of ECC I feel I have so little control, which is funny, because I don’t think I ever had it in the first place, LOL! I am drawn to the words that Rick whispered in my ear, “Don’t Give Up”, and I wonder where that course will lead me. I ask for your prayers if you’re reading this as I am seeking direction… seeking answers…when I am not even sure of the questions. God is stirring the depths of my soul. I am not sure where He is taking me, what He is doing, or what’s next. I do know for now though as I try and walk and talk with Jesus He is called me to lead ECC in its mission to; “Connect people to God and Each other”, and although I am unsettled, I can find peace in that.

I find myself thinking…wondering…doubting. Today was the Catalina Baptist associational executive board meeting. (For those who don’t know ECC is associated with the SBC in missions) Anyway, the entire process though comical, was disgusting to me. I could not help but think what would Jesus think of this mess we call church. You see, you have to understand that I have a long history in the church. My father is a preacher in fact. I experienced church fight after church fight, church split after church split, moving, my father heartbroken and bitter, him finally being able to heal, and then moving again. Now today my father kinda looks down at me for the same reason that he would get into trouble when he was young, doing things differently! I wonder if I will be the same way when I am older? Anyway the clash between old and new is growing more and more. It was so crystal clear this morning, old clashing with new, and I was wondering where is Jesus in all of this madness? When are we going to figure out that Jesus was not a part of the SBC, or a Republican? I’ll be the first to admit I am not the perfect follow of Christ so I am speaking from a low position here. Somewhere along the way though I feel we have lost our way. At some point the church became an institution, a thought process I find myself having trouble breaking free from. I guess the questions I have been wrestling with are; what does Jesus think of Denominations? What does Jesus think of “the churches” in America? What does Jesus think about ECC? What does Jesus think about me? I hope He sees a man trying his best to follow Him. I hope the world sees a Christ-follower, a fallen man, a man who is perfect by no means, but a man who has been saved by grace, and is doing his best to walk and talk with Jesus.

I heard that in a movie and loved the line so I decided I would use it. So here I have begun blogging again. The interesting thing about the written word is it can be taken so out of context, kinda like the Bible, except my words are not so perfect, LOL! So let me make this clear, I am trying with everything in me to fix my eyes on Jesus, simple as that. I don’t know what that means because when you fix your eyes on Jesus you don’t get a road map, you get to walk by faith day by day! So I am walking by faith with Jesus, and it feels good. It feels good to walk with Jesus. As a pastor everyone assumes you are always walking with Jesus, but sorry to disappoint, that’s just not true. In fact every series we have done in the past few months God was screaming at me this is you, you, I am talking to you. Here I am preaching and the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me I am talking to you! Being transparent can be a little uncomfortable for everyone, but it is so healthy. In a time when we hear so much about church health, we have so many how to books, I think we could make it simple, be easy on ourselves and just be real with each other. If we would get real with our lives, our relationships, our love we would have healthy churches, with healthy leaders, with healthy followers of Jesus. So here I am blogging, not sure who is reading, and I don’t really care. I am blogging for me, a release of my thoughts, talking to God, and if it happens to help some people along the way that would be even better. Just a PS. If it is not already clear, I am not planning on leaving, God would have to move us, and He has said walk by faith day by day with me…Walking and talking with Jesus, I can handle that.

Transparency So as I stated in my last blog I went to a church planter’s conference this week. One thing that can be weird about a conference like this is there seem to be no failures, I mean very few people will come out and say things are not going well. You have all these speakers and they all talk about how great it is. What if it’s not all great though? What if the first year of your church plant was the hardest year of your life, and you are wondering can I make it through another one. While at the conference I was getting ready to listen to Alan Hirsch, a man consider by many to be a modern day prophet to the church. He wrote the books The Shaping of Things to come, and The Forgotten Ways. This is really off the point though. There was a man there who I had met in Tucson at something called a Vision Tour. We just happened to sit down together and began to talk and realized that we had a past connection. As we talked he asked me how things where and something amazing happened. I decided I would do exactly what I do with the people of ECC, I was transparent. I told him of our struggles, and our victories. I told him how I was not sure if the finances were going to last before we got to the point of being able to sustain ourselves better. I told him how that would break my heart because I am so in love with people like Tawnee who has such a beautiful heart,  Ray who is such a servant, the little elderly women Nancy who inspires me to love others and live life, Dan and all his wisdom, Jeff, who is an agnostic, but is a better servant than most Christians, etc… I told how we have talked very seriously about me going on as a manager at Starbucks and making some time sacrifices because we believe so much in what we are doing, because we love the people we have connected with so much!!! Then he did something, something that caught me off guard. He prayed, right then and there. Thank you God; for a Godly man who was willing to stop and pray, for this man who is still praying. Please bless him!

Today my world was rocked!!! I was sitting in a conference for church starters, and all of a sudden from the most unexpected place God SHOOK my world! Rick Warren author of Purpose Driven Church and pastor of Saddleback Church in CA was the speaker. In the heart of complete honesty I was playing on MySpace as Rick started to speak. I was a big fan of Rick’s, and over time I think I let all the negative blogs, etc… sway my opinion for no good reason. Today though God used Rick Warren, the guy I was kinda tuning out to impact me in a mighty way!!! It’s funny because isn’t that how God is, lifting you up and supporting you in the most unlikely of ways? After all He does say to us,” My ways are not your ways”! So there I am listening to Rick and the Holy Spirit reminded me of some things:

1. I am in Tucson because God has placed me there, 100% no DOUBT!

2. Am I doing this for me, or for the Kingdom of God? To be honest, I have been doing it for me for a little while.

3. I have not taken care of my spiritual needs, so my faith has been in the toilet!

4. I have to stop building a church, and start building people.

I know these things are not complex, but my world was rocked. Sitting there so unsuspecting…Rick Warren!!! I cried for the first time in while, broken before God. I stayed for the first time ever just to say Thank You to Rick. I went up to him shook his hand and said, “I just wanted to say thank you”. He said, thank you and then asked to hug me and as I hugged him he said, “Don’t give up”. I don’t know if they were prophetic words, but they were in my life! You see because my faith has wondered is God really going to do this thing. I have thought about giving up, but God has renewed my spirit, and he used Rick Warren!

Well another year has passed in my life, as I will be turning 26 on Thursday. There is so much from this past year that I could write and tell about, but I will save that for the next Christmas letter. There are some thoughts that seem to grip me right now though. In the Bible, in the New Testament is says,

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 3:13b-14

When I think of my past my mind goes in a million different directions. I think about how we each deal with situations so differently, and how some of us overcome our past, and how for some our past overcomes us. Os Hillman says in his book Today God is First, “Our past can be a hindrance or a help in moving toward God’s purposes for each of us. For some, the past has meant pain and heartache, and grace is required so that we do not let our past dictate our responses to the future. If we allow our past to make us a victim, then we have not entered into the grace that God has for us. If we live on memories of past successes and fail to raise our vision for new things, we again are victims of our past”. There is so much truth to this. As I think of this past year and the starting of ECC, I am tempted to look back. When times get really hard I am tempted to look back to GA., where Stacy and I have so many good memories. When things are bad I am tempted to look back at the mistakes I have made in this past year in starting ECC, and dwell on the what if’s, but when tempted to look back I remember I am to press forward. I think of verses like Isaiah 43:19,
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (Is. 43:19).

When I am tempted to live in the past, I remember our God is doing a new thing amongst us here at ECC, that our path is different than that of so many who have gone before us. That we here at ECC are to press on to the goal to win the prize. Which brings about a great question, what is the prize? Here at ECC our mission is very clear, “To Connect people to God and each other”. The prize here on earth will be seeing people’s lives change as they encounter a Holy God, and then seeing people join together in Biblical community to be, “the hand and feet of Jesus”. As we do this, we will be bringing about eternal change. But, the great news is there is an even greater prize on the other side of this life, and that is the reward that awaits all those who have acknowledged Jesus as Lord, and been “His hands and feet”. You see our past should only be viewed for what we can learn from it. We must move forward and avoid viewing the negative or the positive for more than what we can learn. Many have allowed their past to dictate their future. God is always about doing new things in our lives. He gives fresh eye-openers of His purposes in our lives. Do not live in the past. Do not hold onto bitterness that may hinder God from doing new and exciting things in your life. He turns our wastelands into streams of water to give life, not death. I believe God wants to do something great through ECC. That he wants us to be about giving hope to the City of Tucson, but this will take each one of us deciding that we are going to press on, that we are going to dream big, that we begin to see there is nothing in our past, or present, that can separate us from Christ, and that God wants to use each one of us in His master plan. I believe God wants to do something through ECC that is even bigger than of us could imagine. It has been said, “When your memories are bigger than your dreams, you’re headed for the grave” [Author unknown]. So as I celebrate my 26^th birthday I hope each of you will join me in committing to look to the future, to dream big of what ECC can be for God, and that each of will raise our level of commitment, that each of us will begin to press on so that we might be a part of this new thing that God wants to do amongst us here at ECC.