Jeremiah’s Blog

I came across this and it really spoke to me.

“Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything” (Acts 9:8-9). It’s hard to find anyone in Christian history who became a great leader without earning an advanced degree in adversity.

“Then God said, let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over  the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, over all the creatures that move along the ground. So he created man in his own image. In the image of God he created them male and female both in the image of God.” Genesis 1:26-27

In the heart of being real I have to tell you that the beginning of this week was pretty rough for me. I felt all the emotion of the valley; anger, sadness, depression, loneliness, failure, etc., and they were all intensified into two days. I had tremendous hopes for reaching the city through our current series, especially after all the publicity, and the fact that we had so few visitors drove me into despair. I felt I had failed God, I had failed the people of ECC, and I felt like there was no hope. It was a bad two days!

Maybe you have had a time like this, maybe you’re going through something like this right now.I want to encourage you as I have been encouraged. I was talking to my mentor and he said something I think I knew, but did not believe, and when he said it, it was with conviction and passion. He said “You can look at this and say it failed, but you are not a failure!” WOW! I needed that, I am not a failure, and maybe in some respects it did fail, but I am not a failure. I then had a choice; embrace that truth.or live in a lie. I went for the truth.

Right after I had this encouragement I went to work on this week’s teaching and God gave me Genesis 1:26-27. I bear the image of God! I am an image bearer of the creator of the universe. I am made with a purpose, I am uniquely and wonderfully made, a special creation of God. God did not create me and say, “Man I messed up with that one” Instead he cares about me so much that He says that he knows the number of hairs on my head, and that each one literally has a number. Today if you are feeling like you can’t go on, feeling like the world is pressing in, or maybe you just feel like a failure, remember that you are a image bearer of God, and He cares for you.

Maybe we did not reach the masses, but one women that was there this past week wants to sit down and talk about becoming a Christ-follower, and there is no failure in that! She is a unique creation of God that matters so much that he would have us do all this, just for her, and I believe that with all of my heart.

http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/blog/view/264

http://regulus2.azstarnet.com/blogs/desertbeliefs/11031/puresextucsoncom

http://www.fox11az.com/news/topstories/stories/KMSB_20080827_dm_jh_sex.1c58edd7.html

I want to make a few things clear. First we are not doing this for media attention! Second we are not doing this because I want a lavish lifestyle. I lived a much more comfortable life with my former job, and I LOVED it. So why are we doing this. Simple we believe in Loving God and Loving People just like Jesus told us too. That is why we have done so many service projects in the city, that is why we adopted a refugee family from Iraq, and that is why we are dealing with sex, relationships, and marriage. At least 90% of all counseling I have done churched or unchurched have related to these three. People are hurting, maybe not all people, but a lot of people are hurting. We are doing nothing more than trying to love God and love people. ECC’s stated mission is to “Connect People to God and Each Other”. Why? Because Jesus told us to “love God and love people”! We believe people are made with a purpose and that by connecting people to God they will find that purpose. We also believe that people are made to live in community, not fend for themselves, that is why we try to connect people so that we have people to walk life with in joy and pain. To me it’s simple why we are doing what we are doing? “Love God…Love People”!

Well each year I usually write a blog on my birthday, well for the last few years anyway. I have been meaning to blog as of late, but have been much too busy. There is something that has been stirring in me since I went to the Grand Canyon with Ben and Drew, so here it goes.

As we descended in the canyon it was basically done with much ease, along the way there were rangers warning us to the fact that we would have to climb back out. Even with these warnings we decided to go. I decided to go even farther to the point. 6 miles down. It was awesome, breathe taking. It was as I neared the bottom of the valley that I really saw the awesomeness of God. Oh sure it was beautiful on the mountain, but from the valley it was different. There was a closeness to God, a new respect for his awesomeness. As I climbed out of the canyon at first it was not bad, and then it got harder, but then I came upon a cool steam, and trees, an oasis in the desert. It was a place where I could be refreshed, to regain my strength. The hike was far from over though. I was still deep in the canyon. As I hiked out and got to the three mile marker I was more than tired, the boiling hot water in the facet was of little refreshment, and as I sat there I dreaded the rest of the hike. Finally I got up for my last three miles. There were many breaks from that point on, many points where I wanted to quit and give up, but knew I could not. I had to get to the top; it was the only logical direction to go. When I finally reached the top it was amazing. I had made it. I had descended into the valley, and climbed back out! I had hiked 12 miles in one day.           

Ok I know what’s the point, where am I going with this, well here it is. Many of you know that the first two years here in Tucson were not easy for us. The Element has struggled to get off the ground, and we have struggled to keep the faith. It really all happened much like the descent in the canyon. We came here on top on the mountain, stepping out in faith. Then we began our journey towards the valley floor. There were warnings all along the way saying it would be hard to climb back out, God was calling out to us, but we kept going down. We then hit this point, this point where God had finally got our attention. Oh there were many points where we tried to think are way back to the top, live in denial, even quit for an hour so, but then finally God sent the storm that got our attention, and it was there in the depths that we saw God best, it was there we saw Him as Lord of All, as our Beautiful Savior. As we were climbing out we called on God again and again, because we once again had realized that we needed His strength to get us through. So here we are, a month removed from the valley, and the amazing thing is…nothing has changed, nothing except instead of looking at the circumstances around us we have begun to look at Jesus. Instead of walking by sight we are walking by faith. It is like what Habakkuk experienced when he called on God, His circumstances don’t change, but instead of putting all of his stock in what he could see, he began to follow God by faith.           

When I hiked the canyon I had to go down into the valley to really see the beauty of it to appreciate what it was, to see God. As we have planted this church we had to go into the valley so that we knew that we could do nothing without God. That nothing about the Element was going to be of our own doing but of God. To really see God in all His Majesty and splendor we had to come to place of complete surrender. So here we are walking in faith with God, and I can think of no better place to be. I don’t know what’s next, I don’t know what God has for us, but I am excited to be walking  by faith, and I hope and pray that you’ll join me.

Yesterday we combined services with Central Baptist Church for a special celebration. The idea of saving your first kiss for the alter was brought up during a special sharing time after the watching a video from Rob Bell called Flame. It was even suggested as far as to say that kissing was wrong before the alter. Now I do not believe that kissing is sin, but I know from experience that kissing almost never stops at kissing. So how far is too far? What are the boundaries?  I guess my view is this. If you want to give God and your wife the ultimate gift concerning your body then saving the first kiss for the alter fits that category beautifully! It is the ultimate gift you can give your spouse; I believe that with all my heart! If however you feel you need to test the waters, what if they are a bad kisser, which by the way is hard to know if you have never kissed anyone but that person, be warned, those memories will always be there. I know from experience that no matter how hard you try, you will not forget them. I wish that every kiss, and everything that I did past the point of kissing was saved for my wife, but it was not. I cannot change the sin in my past, and to a degree I don’t know that I would, as I am often able to help people that I encounter who  are struggling with sins of the flesh.  Besides that I know that I live in Christ complete forgiveness. With all that said, I still know that I missed out on giving a beautiful gift to both God and my wife.  The truth is that once married for awhile the passion does die down some, and if you’re not best friends, committed to a life together, it won’t last. That’s why I encourage people to lay aside the physical desires, because if you can build something that goes beyond the physical, you have most likely built something that will last a life time, and you will have saved everything for the one you would spend a life time with. I know it seems off the wall extreme, and like I already said, it’s not a standard I lived up to myself, but it is something for thought and prayer. You talk to God. I am going to love all of you guys either way. There’s no condemnation here, just me looking back, in hind sight 20/20 vision and sharing my heart! I want to end by saying I LOVE YOU to my wife and I am so happy that I married my very best friend!

I went to the driving range yesterday to hit a few golf balls. Of course the purpose of hitting the ball is to hit straight, and a little distance doesn’t hurt either. Since I don’t play golf very often the ball did not go straight very often, and when it did it did not go long all that often. It made me think of my walk with Christ. When I don’t spend enough time talking to God, and getting to know him through His Word I am not able to walk the straight path of His will for me life, and when I do, I can’t do it for very long. Every now and then when I am at the driving range I will hit the perfect ball, that one that makes you realize what a little practice would do for you. The one that makes you think…What would happen if I spent more time doing this? When I begin to think about my spiritual life and my walk with God I once again can’t help but notice a comparison. When I am not spending enough time with God every now and then it seems I will get a glimpse of what it would look like to walk and talk with Jesus every day, but because I am doing so much in my own strength I am never able to sustain walking that path for very long. Yet when I am spending time with God, getting to know Him more and more through prayer and His Word, I am able to walk that straight path more consistently, and for much longer periods of time. Not by my strength, but by the filling of Holy Spirit in my life. As I am on this journey of trying to walk and talk with Jesus every day there have been some times when I have been more like the guy who goes out to the golfing range and tries to hit the ball long and straight with no practice, and then gets frustrated about it. Then there have been times when walking by faith each and every day have been natural, and almost easy. Those are the times where I am consistently spending time with God. Walking and talking with God isn’t always easy, but if we spend a little time with Him, and let him coach us each every day we will find ourselves less frustrated, and hitting the ball longer and straighter more consistently every day.

Can I be honest here? I am a little scared. I have come to a new place with God where ECC is completely His. I guess it should have always been that way, but it can be hard to get self out of the way. I feel like God may be telling me something I don’t want to hear, something that breaks my heart… For now though I am not ready to get to deep into what that something is, it is just for God and I for now. As you know from past blogs I have begun a new journey of trying to walk and talk with Jesus day by day, this has been harder than I thought it would be! I feel very challenged in my walk with Christ. I feel very challenged about ECC, I just feel challenged PERIOD!!! There is a stirring within me, but I am not sure what for, or what direction it is going, but I am unsettled. Now that I have let go of ECC I feel I have so little control, which is funny, because I don’t think I ever had it in the first place, LOL! I am drawn to the words that Rick whispered in my ear, “Don’t Give Up”, and I wonder where that course will lead me. I ask for your prayers if you’re reading this as I am seeking direction… seeking answers…when I am not even sure of the questions. God is stirring the depths of my soul. I am not sure where He is taking me, what He is doing, or what’s next. I do know for now though as I try and walk and talk with Jesus He is called me to lead ECC in its mission to; “Connect people to God and Each other”, and although I am unsettled, I can find peace in that.

I find myself thinking…wondering…doubting. Today was the Catalina Baptist associational executive board meeting. (For those who don’t know ECC is associated with the SBC in missions) Anyway, the entire process though comical, was disgusting to me. I could not help but think what would Jesus think of this mess we call church. You see, you have to understand that I have a long history in the church. My father is a preacher in fact. I experienced church fight after church fight, church split after church split, moving, my father heartbroken and bitter, him finally being able to heal, and then moving again. Now today my father kinda looks down at me for the same reason that he would get into trouble when he was young, doing things differently! I wonder if I will be the same way when I am older? Anyway the clash between old and new is growing more and more. It was so crystal clear this morning, old clashing with new, and I was wondering where is Jesus in all of this madness? When are we going to figure out that Jesus was not a part of the SBC, or a Republican? I’ll be the first to admit I am not the perfect follow of Christ so I am speaking from a low position here. Somewhere along the way though I feel we have lost our way. At some point the church became an institution, a thought process I find myself having trouble breaking free from. I guess the questions I have been wrestling with are; what does Jesus think of Denominations? What does Jesus think of “the churches” in America? What does Jesus think about ECC? What does Jesus think about me? I hope He sees a man trying his best to follow Him. I hope the world sees a Christ-follower, a fallen man, a man who is perfect by no means, but a man who has been saved by grace, and is doing his best to walk and talk with Jesus.

I heard that in a movie and loved the line so I decided I would use it. So here I have begun blogging again. The interesting thing about the written word is it can be taken so out of context, kinda like the Bible, except my words are not so perfect, LOL! So let me make this clear, I am trying with everything in me to fix my eyes on Jesus, simple as that. I don’t know what that means because when you fix your eyes on Jesus you don’t get a road map, you get to walk by faith day by day! So I am walking by faith with Jesus, and it feels good. It feels good to walk with Jesus. As a pastor everyone assumes you are always walking with Jesus, but sorry to disappoint, that’s just not true. In fact every series we have done in the past few months God was screaming at me this is you, you, I am talking to you. Here I am preaching and the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me I am talking to you! Being transparent can be a little uncomfortable for everyone, but it is so healthy. In a time when we hear so much about church health, we have so many how to books, I think we could make it simple, be easy on ourselves and just be real with each other. If we would get real with our lives, our relationships, our love we would have healthy churches, with healthy leaders, with healthy followers of Jesus. So here I am blogging, not sure who is reading, and I don’t really care. I am blogging for me, a release of my thoughts, talking to God, and if it happens to help some people along the way that would be even better. Just a PS. If it is not already clear, I am not planning on leaving, God would have to move us, and He has said walk by faith day by day with me…Walking and talking with Jesus, I can handle that.

Transparency So as I stated in my last blog I went to a church planter’s conference this week. One thing that can be weird about a conference like this is there seem to be no failures, I mean very few people will come out and say things are not going well. You have all these speakers and they all talk about how great it is. What if it’s not all great though? What if the first year of your church plant was the hardest year of your life, and you are wondering can I make it through another one. While at the conference I was getting ready to listen to Alan Hirsch, a man consider by many to be a modern day prophet to the church. He wrote the books The Shaping of Things to come, and The Forgotten Ways. This is really off the point though. There was a man there who I had met in Tucson at something called a Vision Tour. We just happened to sit down together and began to talk and realized that we had a past connection. As we talked he asked me how things where and something amazing happened. I decided I would do exactly what I do with the people of ECC, I was transparent. I told him of our struggles, and our victories. I told him how I was not sure if the finances were going to last before we got to the point of being able to sustain ourselves better. I told him how that would break my heart because I am so in love with people like Tawnee who has such a beautiful heart,  Ray who is such a servant, the little elderly women Nancy who inspires me to love others and live life, Dan and all his wisdom, Jeff, who is an agnostic, but is a better servant than most Christians, etc… I told how we have talked very seriously about me going on as a manager at Starbucks and making some time sacrifices because we believe so much in what we are doing, because we love the people we have connected with so much!!! Then he did something, something that caught me off guard. He prayed, right then and there. Thank you God; for a Godly man who was willing to stop and pray, for this man who is still praying. Please bless him!